Why am I doing this?

As I’m about to press the proverbial button and publish my first ever blog, I’m asking myself: why are you doing this, girl?

First answer that springs to mind is that I like the intellectual challenge.  It’s something new that I’m working out as I go, both from a technical point of view (I never really knew what a platform is, now I do), as well as from the point of ability to write.  Seems obvious, but as many creative people with keen and fast mind, I think much faster than I can write. Hence the illegible scribbles that baffle even me.  Slowing down the stream of thoughts, giving them shape and form ( and I’m definitely not talking bullet points or mind maps), gives me a wonderful mental exercise.  

So why not do this in private? By publishing my nightthinking and daydreaming, am I really trying to show off? I don’t think so, as I’m definitely not feeling very sure of how readable the outcome will be.  But I must admit, there is a deeply seated need in us all not to be alone, to have someone to acknowledge us, to hear us, in this case, ‘read’ us.  

And here we come to the stumbling block.  There will eventually be reactions. Not all comments will be positive, as anyone who ever commented on anything online knows. Just the other day I commented on an article publicising the up coming Terminator film (hurrah) which will star Linda Hamilton, The Original Sarah Connor.  Awesome.  Until the author used this phrase: ‘…even if she is old…’.  What? What?! So I respond: “great article, but listen, I know she’s 62; but look at her, she looks totally kick ass. Let’s not label people here.”  Promptly I receive a response from someone with not-my-real-name, who says eloquently “she’s 62, so f*** off”.  Clearly I haven’t learned my lesson yet, so I respond in my most polite British manner: “I don’t dispute she’s 62; but disregarding her biological age, physiologically she looks awesome. And I’d prefer we do not label people based on their age, as we should not label them based on their gender, skin colour or beliefs”. To which this person responds “your fu**ing old”. Yep, with this spelling.  So I did the only adult thing possible: reported them for use of obscenity to FB and blocked them. 

My point here is, as I voluntarily enter the internet scary space, I will have to find ways to protect myself both in terms of online tools, and to armour my little soul. But even that is a fresh challenge to take on.  

So back to the original “why are you doing this, girl?” guestion. 

Because I want the intellectual challenge, to express my thoughts and ideas eloquently and engagingly (so the reader actually gets to the end at least).

Because I need the mental diversion, away from financials, PowerPoints and corporate speak.  

Because I choose to share who I am with people, who’s views I value. And should they choose to comment, I’m hoping they will be gentle. 

Because I want to do this, simple as that.  

Ok, I’m pushing the button…..